. (:




« go back

« go back

at 12:11 AM

I dunno what's wrong with me but I'm just feeling weird and..
Just weird.
I'm blogging this is because I seriously stressed out in EXAMS and stuffs.
Plus this thing has been in my head spinning zillion times.
I should be studying and revising for my exams right now
but I am so not-in-the-mood.
So I'll continue with my post... first.

Our messages we text to each other really feel so "stranger".
It's like sweetness becoming bitterness.
All replies to each other is just either one/two words
or just some normal messages you get with texting a friend.

But when we meet it's the other way round.
We do things what normal couples do besides holding hands on streets.
That's one thing couples always does that we don't.
I mean of cause we used to but not now.
Or the past few months.
So whenever I see couples sweetly sweetly holding hands on the streets I will ask myself why.

It's like happening everyday.
Our daily lives.
We meet.
Most of the times with friends or classmates.
Talked, joked, sweet sweet for that moment or two.
He does call me by "baobei" or "baby".
And then when it's home-ed it's like totally different.
Only one word we texted which is kinda sweet is *muacks* and *baby* and that's it.

So many things had happened between us.
Too many things that made everything change.
Even my thinking/mind set did change.
I can't deny I often think that he's secretly seeing someone else.
Which I really really really wanna put this thinking aside. (But it won't go away.)

And I really don't like what happened during the past few months.
It's hell to me.
Darling knew everything.
She's the only person who I can really talk to from the bottom of my heart.
And also give me advise which nobody does.

I know how much I hope or wish for won't totally come my way.
Because he has his busy jobs schedules and school added on to the load.
(Darling told me the conversation both of them had on FB.)

But now, how I wish... so so much.. that we could be how we used to be 1 yr ago.
At least some sweet texting wont kill right?
I'm a girl too right?
A girl needs a lil` TLC (Tender-Loving-Care) from her guy isn't that true?
But.......
*sigh*
I'm crushed.