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at 4:54 PM

人群中哭着 我只想变成透明的颜色

我再也不会梦或痛或心动了

我已经决定了 我已经决定了

我静静忍着 紧紧把昨天在拳心握着

回忆越是甜就是越伤人

越是在手心留下密密麻麻深深切切淡掉了



我不是真正的快乐 我的笑只是我穿的保护色

我决定不恨了 也决定不爱了

把我的灵魂挂在永远锁上的躯壳

这世界笑了 于是我合群的一起笑了

当生存是规则不是我的选择

于是我含着眼泪飘飘荡荡跌跌撞撞地走着


我不是真正的快乐 我的笑只是你穿的保护色

我决定不恨了 也决定不爱了

把我的灵魂挂在永远锁上的躯壳

我不是真正的快乐 我的伤从不肯完全的愈合

你站在我左侧 却像隔着银河

难道就真的抱着遗憾一直到老了 然后再后悔着



我不是真正的快乐 我的笑只是你穿的保护色

我决定不恨了 也决定不爱了

把我的灵魂挂在永远锁上的躯壳



我不是真正的快乐 我的伤从不肯完全的愈合

你站在我左侧 却像隔着银河

难道就真的抱着遗憾一直到老了



我知道真正的快乐 我应该脱下你穿的保护色

为什么失去了 还要被惩罚呢

能不能就让配角全部结束在此刻

重新开始活着


at 12:33 AM

BIG *sigh* ~~~~~


So many things has happened recently.

Super mixed emotion.
Super confused.

Can someone kill me please!!!!!
>.<"


at 11:05 AM

I cant breath.






I can no longer trust.

Stuffs u did.
Words u spoke.

They kept going through my head.


Maybe to u love is just a game.

You said you were serious.


But all I can feel is cold.

Emptiness.



Do you love me from the bottom of your heart?
Are you serious when you said you loved me and want to be with me forever?
Am I the only person that comes to your mind the first thing when you wake?
Do you really miss me when you said u do?



Or everything u said and done is just another act?


I want someone who I can say I love him wholeheartedly.
I want to genuinely fall in love with someone who also genuinely loves me back.



....all I want is you to love me back.


But not like this.


at 2:51 PM

I HATE MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!

Why do things always happen on me.








Nothing goes well for me.























Never.


at 3:26 AM

My mind's a blank.


It seems like there's nothing wrong.

But I feel that there's something going on.




What is "LOVE" exactly?




Possessiveness is not love
Jealousy is not love
Lust is not love
Fear is not love
Keeping people all to yourself is not love
Expecting something from someone is not love.



To love someone unconditionally means that you love the person exactly as they are
exactly as they were before and exactly as they will be in the future.

Because people change all the time, so if you love the person,
you will love them even if they become something you disagree with.


Love is not about you or your pleasure or your amusement.
It’s not about what you get out of it or what the other person can give to you.

It’s not about having a trophy you can show off with and tell people
“This is *MY* girlfriend/boyfriend/wife/husband/whatever”.
You do not “own” anyone.


It’s not about you feeling ‘proud’ to be with someone
who always agrees with everything you say and do
and never does anything you disagree with.


Unconditional love means...
That the person can just live their life exactly as they choose
and you will always be there for them no matter what.


Unconditional love is more of a spiritual thing.
It’s not bound by physical things, like blood relations and the desire to procreate.
It has nothing whatsoever to do with sex.


Most people are in relationships because they’re horny and/or lonely,
even if they genuinely think they love the other person.
But if the person they “love” suddenly lost their “equipment” for whatever reason,
would they still want to be with that person?

Would they get jealous if the person they “love” wanted to spend time with other people as well? Relationships based on needs are not unconditional.


In order to truly understand love..
You must first forget everything you have ever learned about it from society..
and anyone else.
People always try to fit “love” in with things like dating, relationships and marriage and all.



And that is not call true love.


at 3:43 PM

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DARLING XIAOWEI!!
:D


Yesterday went to K-Box Plaza to celebrate Xiaowei's 22nd Birthday
with Amanda Yeo, and darling.

And here are the picturesss~~







♥ you girl!! :)


at 11:55 PM

別打開 禮物的緞帶
最初充滿期待 最後都腐敗
別打開 午夜的電臺
別讓情歌反覆再愚弄

而愛 並沒有教給我生存
只教我交易虛榮給天真
可是愛 讓我們變成陌生人
卻變不了更高尚的靈魂

不要吻我 只要抱著我
不要愛我 做我的親人
把手借我 一天一分鐘
做我最親密的親人
不是誰的情人 誰的某某某

就算我 全身濕透透
我也不再被誰 牽著鼻子走
如果我 還握住拳頭
可能我怕我的夢飛走

而愛 並不如你想的萬能
不能讓我們不再戰爭
可是愛 連慈悲也沒多慈悲
誰愛越深越容易被犧牲

不要吻我 只要抱著我

不要愛我 做我的親人
把手借我 一天一分鐘
讓我還敢做我的夢

做我夢中偉大的微笑的英雄

at 4:34 PM

I'M HOOKED!!!



I'm hooked to drams.

It's been so long since I've cried so much.
-.-zzz

海派甜心 & 下一站幸福
Two dramas in a row made my tears flow non stop.

*sobs~*



at 1:38 PM

I'm sooooo lazy to update my blog!!!
This is really bad.

To know what I did yesterday please click here.

And really really reeeeeeeallly excited for next month to come!!!

I'M GOING OVERSEAS AGAIN!!!!

And this time it's.....












PORT DICKSON!!!!!




And this is where we're going to stay.

:)

Fell in love with the place the moment I saw the pictures.
Such a beautiful place.
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥~~


at 3:26 AM

Back from hubby's house!!
:D


12th January, 2010
Met up with my girls, Rayann & Cheryl.
Walked around town.
Laughed like crazy women.
And as usual, cam-whore like nobody business.
Pictures are all in my Facebook.
Simply just click on the link above.
:)

After that met up with hubby at City Square.
Had dinner with his friend and cab-ed to East Coast Park for our romantic time.
Just the two of us♥.

Took loads of cute pictures.
Also can be viewed in my Facebook.
Then cab-ed back to hubby's place.
Stayed over at hubby's place yesterday.
Although it's a full day at hubby's place.

As long as there's hubby it's ♥~


at 1:26 PM

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY GIRL CHERYL!!!
:D
She turns 23 today!!

This year is a brand new year and it's a year that everyone turns a year older too.
Sad.
I feel so old now.
Damn.

Anyways...
Yesterday was actually out alone.
Went to do extensions @ Far East.


Loves those curls!!!
♥ ♥ ♥

But after wash it becomes small curls.
-.-zzz...

Darling came to find me later at night.
Walked around town and I cab-ed to look for hubby @ Katong.
As usual he's there playing Dota with his guy friends.
Headed home at 3.30am while they continued their Dota-ing @ some other place.

Gonna meet the girls @ town later~~
:)




at 3:28 PM

Yesterday celebrated Cheryl's birthday @ Pasir Ris Park.
It's not as bad as I thought it will be.
Really nice and windy place.
:)


Kinda lazy to type out the details.
So let the pictures do the talking!!



















I actually feel damn bad for Cheryl.
All the secondary school friends who she invited..
Not a single of them turned up.
*sigh~*

At least she still have the two sisters.
Hopes she still enjoyed herself.
:)



Left at about 10 plus.
And headed to hubby's place.
Had some alone time with together and then went to hubby's friend, Keith's house for majong.
4am I left cos I was super tired.
Cab-ed home and turned in.


at 1:44 PM

Suddenly my mind's kinda blank.
-.-"..

Yesterday stayed at home till about 6 plus.
And headed to City Square to look for Cheryl's present.

Bought a pretty accessory holder.
Hopes she likes it.

Cost about 20+++ and hubby complained.
Say why her present more expensive than his.
DOTS.

Anyway..
Slacked at hubby's house till 1.30am.
But end up 2+ then go home.
Cos he didn't allow me to board the cab.
Zzz...

Hubby said when he earn enough money he will ask to marry me.
But at the mean time we'll get engaged first.

Hmmmm..
Let's see if this will come true..
=X


at 2:18 PM

6th January, 2010
Celebrated Amanda Yeo's 23rd Birthday @ Rebel!!
:D
It's really a fun and enjoyable time there.
And glad Marcus is working there too.
LOL~

Starting from the beginning of the day I actually didn't want to go.
Because of some problems with hubby.
Making me so damn fucking no mood.
Don't wanna mention it le.
-.-zzz..

End up I went.
Because it's my good friend's birthday.
Plus I didn't turn up for her birthday last year.
I'll feel bad.


So here are some photos of the happy moments taken on that day~






:)




at 12:02 PM

Celebrated Amanda Yeo's birthday in advance @ K-Suites.
Super nice and very comfy place.
Feels more like a hotel room than a KTV room.
There's even blankets and slippers for us.
Plus internet connection and games!!!

Pictures are up!!!
:)













Had load of fun!
:D



Tonight might be going Rebel.
I want to PARTY!!!


But yesterday had some argument with hubby.

I really have nothing else to say.










Fucked up!


at 9:36 PM

I'm back in Singapore~~~~

Went to Batam on the 2nd of Jan.
Which was hubby and I 2nd month together.
:)

We went with 2 other friends.
Hubby's friend, Fred and his gf.

Too many things to update about so..
These pictures will do the talking.




Day 1.
On the way to Batam.










Reached our Hotel.
Prepared and getting ready to have our dinner.








The place we had our dinner.
Called Golden Prawn.












After dinner we went to the shopping mall just beside our hotel.
Played pool and watched movie~~




Ended our 1st day having supper in our hotel room and off to bed.



Day 2.
Had breakfast.
Went for a swim.
And had our massage.













Took a bath and headed for our massage.






We checked out.
Took a cab to Batam Center.
Booked our boat ticket back to Singapore at 9pm.

Me and Fred's gf had our medicure done while the guys when to walk around themselves.
Had our lunch cum dinner at a western restaurant.
Did our last minute shopping and off we went to take our boat back to Singapore.

Headed back to hubby's house.
From about 2am we slept till 5pm.

Really had fun at Batam.
:D

Next following trips will be going Genting, maybe Batam again but a different part.
And Thailand on my Birthday!!!
^^